I regret not going with my father to see Johnny and George.
I dont think anything has change.
George still wants to take control over everything.
It has been going on for years.
Only thing, sour and bitterness grew in me more against him.
Mass was a cock up today and that George keeps interfering with the leaders and their decisions on giving out positions. He talks to them like a friend, but its all a lie...
How Long More?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
There is a Disturbance in the Peace.
Corruption kills Corruption.
I think that's what happens when men get greedy by power.
Power to drive them mad. Up to do stupid and unreasonable things so they can flex their muscle, to show it off to, to belittle people under them, weaker than them and having control and authority.
Power is good. Only when used well and wise. An abuse in power will cause damage, much more than any good if one thinks one is doing. And self acclaiming power over smaller people is bullying.
The worst is, politics and power come to play together in the wrong hands in church.
Im having a headache now, from too much thinking. Mind,i rarely get headaches.
I feel Frustrated, angry, and sad by recent events happening in church and i cannot keep it inside.
Today i witness a man, sacristan flex his ungiven or self acclaimed power by commanding me not to serve an extra mass with the smaller boys. I like the boys, they greeted me all happily when i came in the vestry, and i enjoy their childishness. But one man commanded not to serve with them.
WHY?
his answer was I DO NOT WANT YOU MIXING WITH THE YOUNGER BOYS YOURE A BAD INFLUENCE. in a furious tone.
I pushed, question his authority, who are you to say this. IM THE SACRISTAN. Im protecting the boys from you. BULLOCKS. i mutted in my mind.
I WILL NOT TELL THE PRIEST IF YOU DONT SERVE.
i took out my cassock, about to wear it, and he stoped me. DO NOT SERVE.
He took 2 steps forward, i unzipped my cassock. DO NOT SERVE.
I became fustrated. YOU ARE HERE TO SERVE GOD, YOU ALREADY DID YOURE MASS, LET THE YOUNGER BOYS TAKE OVER.
Im not here to take over, im here to serve and enjoy with them i replied.
YOU ARE TOO OLD.
and he took another step.
My mind and body was raging with anger over his ungiven autority.
So i zipped my cassock and kept it, told the leader of the mass to carry on without me. I didnt want the small boys to have any accounts similiar to what i experienced in the past.
I went down to the canteen, he came for me, and "LECTURED" me.
That sly fox, cunning as he is, ive seen his moves and tricks before.
At first he was Aggressive he said im tearing down the society, im causing the destruction of it, and he asked why i want to serve. I replied they are my friends. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS, THEY ARE 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU. Accused me of forming my own group to overthrow the current leaders and take over the society. He kept saying, you are trying to take over the society. Alot of people have been telling him, im trying to take over the society.
I asked who. He said,i wont tell you, i told them not to telll father, see i protect you.
Did he think i was that dumb to not detect he was lying in that, Twice i asked Twice he said, i wont tell you. That sly Fox.
Next he called me a pervert. He said by going out with them im a pervert.
I bring them out for drinks in the coffee shop yes, i play football with them, how does ths make me a pervert?. That fool want to flex his muscle so much, that he resovled to this.
Why cant i hang out with the boys? Is that wrong? Why cant we have fellowship and bonding?
Is that wrong? Why cant we all be happy? Is that wrong? He said, no we cant
we cannot be happy, we cannot have fellowship. I must let the young leaders do it. They are doing jackshit and you are promoting it dammit. He said in this church just serve and go off, just do that.
Well in this church i was brought up to serve and not to be serve, he said i should go find a girlfriend, and make new friends and abandon my servers. Im am trying to take over the soceity he says. He asked, you got no girlfriend? you got no friends, i replied no to test him. He proved the test to be a succes by saying, how come, then i should quit the servers and join the youth ministy, there got plenty girls. I knew he was trying to get rid of me in the society as im one of the last old boys there, to him so called bad influence. This proves he want to run the society.
And he knows im the last one, trying to build it up, trying to show the boys that serveing is not only done on the altar, but to each other. Fellowship. LOVE. Be Christlike. Im trying to bring this in. But he is stopping me. Why cant we have love? Because, he covered the last commandment on the Altar Table. Love One Another as I Have Loved You. Call me a liar to say im wrong. But have prove.
Power, Greed, Corruption. Thats his downfall.
I think that's what happens when men get greedy by power.
Power to drive them mad. Up to do stupid and unreasonable things so they can flex their muscle, to show it off to, to belittle people under them, weaker than them and having control and authority.
Power is good. Only when used well and wise. An abuse in power will cause damage, much more than any good if one thinks one is doing. And self acclaiming power over smaller people is bullying.
The worst is, politics and power come to play together in the wrong hands in church.
Im having a headache now, from too much thinking. Mind,i rarely get headaches.
I feel Frustrated, angry, and sad by recent events happening in church and i cannot keep it inside.
Today i witness a man, sacristan flex his ungiven or self acclaimed power by commanding me not to serve an extra mass with the smaller boys. I like the boys, they greeted me all happily when i came in the vestry, and i enjoy their childishness. But one man commanded not to serve with them.
WHY?
his answer was I DO NOT WANT YOU MIXING WITH THE YOUNGER BOYS YOURE A BAD INFLUENCE. in a furious tone.
I pushed, question his authority, who are you to say this. IM THE SACRISTAN. Im protecting the boys from you. BULLOCKS. i mutted in my mind.
I WILL NOT TELL THE PRIEST IF YOU DONT SERVE.
i took out my cassock, about to wear it, and he stoped me. DO NOT SERVE.
He took 2 steps forward, i unzipped my cassock. DO NOT SERVE.
I became fustrated. YOU ARE HERE TO SERVE GOD, YOU ALREADY DID YOURE MASS, LET THE YOUNGER BOYS TAKE OVER.
Im not here to take over, im here to serve and enjoy with them i replied.
YOU ARE TOO OLD.
and he took another step.
My mind and body was raging with anger over his ungiven autority.
So i zipped my cassock and kept it, told the leader of the mass to carry on without me. I didnt want the small boys to have any accounts similiar to what i experienced in the past.
I went down to the canteen, he came for me, and "LECTURED" me.
That sly fox, cunning as he is, ive seen his moves and tricks before.
At first he was Aggressive he said im tearing down the society, im causing the destruction of it, and he asked why i want to serve. I replied they are my friends. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS, THEY ARE 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU. Accused me of forming my own group to overthrow the current leaders and take over the society. He kept saying, you are trying to take over the society. Alot of people have been telling him, im trying to take over the society.
I asked who. He said,i wont tell you, i told them not to telll father, see i protect you.
Did he think i was that dumb to not detect he was lying in that, Twice i asked Twice he said, i wont tell you. That sly Fox.
Next he called me a pervert. He said by going out with them im a pervert.
I bring them out for drinks in the coffee shop yes, i play football with them, how does ths make me a pervert?. That fool want to flex his muscle so much, that he resovled to this.
Why cant i hang out with the boys? Is that wrong? Why cant we have fellowship and bonding?
Is that wrong? Why cant we all be happy? Is that wrong? He said, no we cant
we cannot be happy, we cannot have fellowship. I must let the young leaders do it. They are doing jackshit and you are promoting it dammit. He said in this church just serve and go off, just do that.
Well in this church i was brought up to serve and not to be serve, he said i should go find a girlfriend, and make new friends and abandon my servers. Im am trying to take over the soceity he says. He asked, you got no girlfriend? you got no friends, i replied no to test him. He proved the test to be a succes by saying, how come, then i should quit the servers and join the youth ministy, there got plenty girls. I knew he was trying to get rid of me in the society as im one of the last old boys there, to him so called bad influence. This proves he want to run the society.
And he knows im the last one, trying to build it up, trying to show the boys that serveing is not only done on the altar, but to each other. Fellowship. LOVE. Be Christlike. Im trying to bring this in. But he is stopping me. Why cant we have love? Because, he covered the last commandment on the Altar Table. Love One Another as I Have Loved You. Call me a liar to say im wrong. But have prove.
Power, Greed, Corruption. Thats his downfall.
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